


Peace & Quiet

by Weresilver



Series: Crown & Laurel [1]
Category: Cut & Run - Madeleine Urban & Abigail Roux
Genre: M/M, Post-Book 9: Crash & Burn, late series spoilers within
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-27
Updated: 2020-07-27
Packaged: 2021-03-06 02:14:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,740
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25555651
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Weresilver/pseuds/Weresilver
Summary: As the dust begins to settle, and they find some semblance of peace and quiet in their lives, Ty is left to think back on everything that happened.
Relationships: Zane Garrett/Ty Grady
Series: Crown & Laurel [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1912831
Comments: 9
Kudos: 30





	Peace & Quiet

**Author's Note:**

> There are late-series (Books 7~9) spoilers in this, so y'know. Head back if you don't want to be spoiled?

Ty grimaced as he sat down on a chair on the balcony. He knew he would still be sore for a while, but he had recovered. He and Zane; at least enough to come home. He let out a deep sigh.

It had been almost a month since they managed to come back to Baltimore, and they were still fixing shit in the house. Almost three months since Ty had almost lost everything and everyone he cared about.

All because he'd blindly trusted a man he knew all his life. Or thought he knew. That particular thought got a rueful laugh out of him.

Ty had spent hours watching Zane as he fell asleep that night, simply thankful for the fact he could, that he still had him with him after everything that had happened. But he had too much in his head to sleep just yet, and he'd come to the balcony shortly after making sure his husband was asleep.

With a long drag of the cigar he held, Ty watched the city quiet down. Unwind. His thoughts followed a similar pattern, at least for the time being. He knew he'd be back here sooner rather than later, but he still had other things to worry about. Like their physical recovery, their house, and their bookstore.

A car horn sounded somewhere in the distance as Ty frowned. He supposed they wouldn't _quite_ be living on the top floor, all things considered. So much for peace and quiet.

The soft sound of someone clearing their throat made him turn in a slight jump, even though Ty knew it could only be Zane. And there he stood, a soft smile on his face that would never cease to make warmth spread throughout his body.

"Couldn't sleep?" Zane asked softly. He was probably there for some time already.

"Just thinking." Ty looked away guiltily, turning his attention back to the outside as he put the cigar out on a nearby vase. "You should be asleep," he added after a heartbeat.

"So should you." He pulled the other chair next to him and sat down without another word. A full minute passed before he spoke again. "You're thinking kind of hard, for one-thirty."

Ty frowned again, unaware of the late hour, and shrugged. Zane opened his mouth to speak again, but Ty beat him to it.

"I don't know how to take…" He trailed off, then vaguely waved his hand around. "Any of it." He completed, keeping his eyes forward. Now that the dust was settling, he knew his family would be feeling the hit. _His father_ would feel it.

"Ty," Zane called. He waited until he turned back to him, but his breath caught in his throat at the flash of hurt that passed Ty's eyes. A moment went by where all he could do was look into his eyes. "You can take the fact that almost everyone made it," he tried, "You and I made it. One last hurdle, out of the way."

Ty was shaking his head even before he was finished. "Zane, we'll be working for the CIA," he reminded with a humorless laugh. "I'm pretty sure there'll be plenty of other hurdles."

"Maybe," Zane conceded, turning his body toward Ty and leaning slightly closer to him. "But we'll be together to deal with them."

He reached out to cup Ty's face with both hands and pull him into a kiss. It was almost gentle, a reminder that he _would_ be by Ty's side until the damn end and there wasn't anything that could change that.

"I love you," Ty murmured as they separated for air, "And I'm sorry."

"What for?"

Ty shrugged uncomfortably, trying to look away, but Zane's hands still on his face didn't let him. Zane suspected he was talking about way more than anything that happened in the year so far.

"The past is past, right?" Zane asked softly. "You did what you could, what you thought was right. About everything." Ty shook his head minutely and looked down, but he made no other attempt to move away from Zane. "Quit being so harsh on yourself."

"I feel like I should have known." He looked up, the same hurt from moments ago hidden behind a frown. "I should have seen it coming, seen the change whenever he decided to kill us." His voice gained strength, and Zane finally let his hands fall from his face, watching him instead of trying to hold him still. "Hell of a profiler," he grumbled, quiet once again.

"You grew up with Burns in your house, Ty."

"All the more reason to have noticed it coming!" He abruptly turned forward again, rubbing his eyes with the heel of a hand. "He… He pretty much taught me how to operate on the field, then decided to kill me _and you_ and I never fucking noticed!"

Zane was struck speechless by the outburst. What the hell was he supposed to say to any of that? He hadn't grown up with Richard Burns as a mentor and father figure, he only knew the man as his boss. Who, as it turned out, had seriously questioned his loyalty while he had been undercover. He _had_ mourned him, but with what had come to light this year…

He sighed. Zane knew how hard dealing with the betrayal would be for the Gradys. For his husband. Or at least he had an educated guess, after Randall Jonas. He reached out to take Ty's hand in his, and the action set him on talking again.

"I came too close of losing you, way too many times," Ty said, absently rubbing his thumb over the tattoo on Zane's ring finger. He knew Zane was watching him, but he couldn't bring himself to look anywhere else. "Because not once I thought about what he had me do." His voice was turning into a harsh whisper as he spoke, matching the distant sounds of the city. "No questions, just a nice little soldier trying to make him proud."

"You had no way of knowing." Zane gave his hand a light squeeze. "He knew you, Ty, he knew what you'd notice and he was careful." He lowered his head slightly, trying to meet Ty's eyes. "Stop beating yourself over it. None of it is your fault."

Ty chuckled weakly. "Stop being reasonable," he mumbled, scooting the chair closer to Zane and pulling him into a hug. "I should have told you much sooner."

Zane's arms tightened around him as they both settled against each other. But he didn't speak for some minutes. "How long have you been stewing over all of this?"

All Ty gave him was an awkward shrug. In a way, he knew Zane was right, that the one to blame was Dick, but it wouldn't change how he felt about it, not that easily. He had his fair share of god awful decisions, too. But for now, holding Zane and holding _onto_ Zane was all he needed.

"I meant what I told Nick," he started after a moment. "I can deal with the fact he was dirty and trying to get us both killed." He shifted slightly, resting his head on Zane's shoulder. "I think." He took a deep breath in, exhaling in a soft sigh. "But the people I've killed? God knows how many of them were _innocent_. Too much bloodshed, Zane. I should have realized something was off," Ty's voice lowered, barely audible in the city night, "Would've made things less… Rocky."

Zane nodded but remained silent for a heartbeat. "I've thought about it," he said, voice still as soft as it had been since he'd walked out onto the balcony. "What I'd have done in your place."

Ty turned to look at his face, wariness clear in his eyes. It seemed to Zane that he expected some form of criticism. He could only smile at that.

"It wouldn't be much different, actually," Zane continued with a tone of nonchalance. "I wouldn't change a thing, and we'd probably end up where we are." He momentarily frowned. "Some reactions would be different, I guess?" Ty laughed at that, and Zane took the opportunity to lean in for a quick, chaste kiss. "You're the one who taught me to live in the present. So stop stressing." When it looked like Ty was about to argue, Zane leaned in again, stealing a less gentle kiss. "And if I remember," he lingered over it, their lips brushing as he said, "You're the one who told me what-ifs would only lead to heartache."

"You actually paid attention to that shit?" Ty asked in a breathless laugh. He kept his eyes on Zane's, and the warmth in them was almost enough to melt away the tension in him.

"Of course, I did," he grinned, "How else would I be able to turn your words against you?" Ty halfheartedly whacked his chest, making him bark out a laugh. He took Ty's hand in his before he could pull it away. "Beaumont Tyler Grady, I love you," he said in a breath, "And there's nothing that can change that."

Ty belatedly realized he was simply staring, speechless for a moment. He cleared his throat. "I love you too, Zane." He closed what little distance there was between them, giving Zane an easy, languid kiss, and letting himself relax into the embrace once more. It felt like a long moment passed before they backed away from each other just enough to breathe again. "It will take some time," he murmured with a slight frown. He trusted Zane to know what he was referring to.

"You have all the time you need," Zane replied easily, "And then some. I'm not going anywhere, Ty."

"One day at a time, huh?" The smile came easily after that, and Ty nodded. "Thank you."

"Nothing to thank me for. But can we please go back inside?" He asked with a light pat at Ty's hip. "It's fucking cold out here."

Laughing, Ty stood up and pulled Zane to his feet. The wave of relief he felt there and then was one he'd probably never be able to explain. But they were home, alive and together, and Ty could deal with the rest of his problems and the world later. Right now, neither the night sounds nor the abandoned cigar registered as important as Ty rounded on Zane for another kiss.

**Author's Note:**

> You can find me on [tumblr](https://weresilver-in-space.tumblr.com/)! :D


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